Went back last night to a set of lates before nights. About 6pm I went home to have some grub (Yes contrary to popular belief we do eat, we are not robots and yes I do like my donuts  )

Anyway I decided after my meal to have a drive around and just as I was thinking about a cup of tea, a job come in for a "burglary in progress". A young lad had been seen to break into a house and make off with the "swag"

I arrive a few minutes after other officers (given I had to drive 7 miles from where I was) to find them all stood around outside??????

Not wishing to upset them I walked off into the housing estate as I had heard a motorbike messing about and there was a suggestion the burglar made off on a motorbike.

As I am approaching  a house I hear a commotion coming from the rear garden. The fence is low enough to see into the agrden and I see a young lad stood next to the patio door putting what looks like a laptop up his hooded top. I call for some help as it appears there are about 3-4 fellas in the house with some females. As I am waiting, the householder comes out and wants to know why i am stood on "his property". I look around myself and see that I am stood on the garden of a council house where he is the tenant and realise he was talking to me

I told him I wanted to come into his house as I had seen the lad. He started to shout and swear at me and the conversation goes something like this

Me - Who was the lad that came in your house via the patio door

him - ugh? what do you mean?

me - which bit don't you understand - patio or door?

him - smart cunt what you on about

me - simple question for a simple twat who was the lad you let into your house through the patio door?

him - (Shouting) my fucking brother want his home number?

me - mmmm yes please that would be great - also if you could let me know where he lives as well that would be good too!

him - (close enough to spit in my face whilst talking) fuck off you baldy cunting prick


me - less of the baldy!

So I push him away using the home office aproved technique and he starts to get quite violent towards me asking if I am for real - am I a real cop? Now some of you may think otherswise but yes I am I tell him

So again he squares up to me and again he is pushed away - I tell him to calm down and also I want to search his house for this lad.

him - come on then come and search you baldy cunt prick (Whilst imitating some action that goes from right to left - or is it left to right must check that!)

By this time the dog handler has arrived and so we go in and search. Whilst the dog handler is dealing with the guy, I search the house for the lad but alas he is not in there - Distracted while he escapes? Probably!

And so I leave and rejoin my other colleagues

About 10 minutes later the guy is having an enourmous argument with his girlfriend and she flees to her stepmums next door and he kicks off in the street, promptly arrested for public order and she has a swollen ankle. Apparently she "fell down the stairs"?? Whatever!

Anyway she agrees to us searching and the dog handler and me go in. Well an aladins cave or what! All the property from the burglary recovered from the garden and their bins plus some more property - He is subsequently arrested for the burglary in custody and bedded down for the night ready for the illustrious CID!

Went in tonight and he is being spoken to about 5 burglaries where the other property came from and I await the result

Tired now folks so good night and keep up the good work!