Tuesday I am the patrol sgt who is responsible for making sure the jobs are resourced and monitoring any serious incidents.

The day started well with 22 officers, no handover prisoners and no cell watches or bed watches. Great!

I take the helm, start going through the jobs left over from the night shift which totals 13. They are all cleared by 11am and so we can start to clear some of the crap in our trays.

But wait!

I receive a call from the CID asking for some help to arrest some lads for robbery and the conversation goes a little like this

CID "Hi Dave, can you send some officers to arrest 2 lads for robbery"

Me "We can do are your officers busy"

CID "Yes they have some prisoners in the cells they are dealing with already"

Me "OK I will send 4 uniform - They can come and see you to get the briefing"

CID "Cheers Dave"

I send the officers to speak to CID and they return shortly after saying they can't find th eCID officers. I tell them to ring them and I go to get a sandwich from the canteen

I walk in and see CID having their breakfast laughing and joking. I say nothing and walk back downstairs and tell me boys and girls not to do the arrests. I check in custody and it is empty!!

CID ring about an hour later asking where their prisoners are and this is the conversation

CID "Dave have they been arrested"

Me "No sorry they have had to deal with some prisoners in the cells"

CID "WHAT PRISONERS CUSTODY IS EMPTY!!!!!"

Me "That will be the same prisoners that you were dealing with then!"

Phone goes down - And there is me thinking the art of detective work was lost!

Still I hope my troops enjoyed their well earned breakfast!